Wednesday, July 14, 2010

For a laugh...

I received this in an email today - thought it was hilarious!! This is an actual letter that was written by a citizen when renewing their passport. So so funny!!! And quite true too!

Dear Sirs,

I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this. How is it that Sky Television has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a bleeding satellite dish from them back in 1977, and yet, the Government is still asking me where I was bloody born and on what date.

For goodness sake, do you guys do this by hand? My birth date you have on my pension book, and it is on all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 30 years. It is on my National Health card, my driving license, my car insurance, on the last eight damn passports I've had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off the plane over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms.

Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name is Mary Anne, my father's name is Robert and I'd be abso-fucking-lutely astounded if that ever changed between now and when I die!!!!!!

I apologise, I'm really pissed off this morning. Between you an' me, I've had enough of this bullshit! You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my fucking address !!!!

What is going on? Do you have a gang of Neanderthal arseholes workin' there? Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I don't want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for shit sakes. I just want to go and park my arse on some sandy beach somewhere. And would someone please tell me, why would you give a shit whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do something weird to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, you'd be the last fucking people I'd want to tell!
Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of the poxy city to get another fucking copy of my birth certificate, to the tune of £30. Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot to assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day?? Nooooooooooooo, that'd be too damn easy and maybe makes sense. You'd rather have us running all over the fuckin' place like chickens with our heads cut off, then have to find some arsehole to confirm that it's really me on the damn picture - you know, the one where we're not allowed to smile?! (bureaucratic fuckin' morons) Hey, do you know why we couldn't smile if we wanted to? Because we're totally pissed off!

An Irate Citizen.

P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture and getting someone to confirm that it's me? Well, my family has been in this country since 1776 ........ I have served in the military for something over 30 years and have had full security clearances over 25 of those years enabling me to undertake highly secretive missions all over the world. ........ However, I have to get someone 'important' to verify who I am - you know, someone like my doctor WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN FUCKING PAKISTAN !

Sincerely, even if i signed my name you twats still wouldn't have a clue who sent it.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

My latest news...

Hello everyone. Remember me?? Well, last time I posted here, I promised myself I would post more regularly....clearly, that did not happen! This time I'll try harder, honest! :-P

So since I last posted, what has been happening?

Well firstly, my darling aunt Caroline is expecting her first baby. She was due last Sunday but still no sign of anything as of yet!! It's so exciting, a new baby cousin! :) It's weird though, everyone thinks I'm going to be a hope that clears up any confusion amongst you!

Secondly, on the 29th June last, I went to see Leona Lewis in concert in the 02 in Dublin! She was phenomenal! Support act was Hermione Hennessy (the late Christy Hennessy's daughter). She had an amazing voice too! Ever since Leona won the X Factor, I have wanted to see her live so now that the opportunity came around, I just had to do it!! Here are some pictures I took on the night, possibly the best ones. The camera settings got the better of me and unfortunately, quite a few are blurry!

It really was a fantastic night - bring on Michael Buble in September!!!! :-D

As mentioned in my last post too, writing was/is on my agenda!! The day after Leona Lewis, I met up with the amazing and totally inspirational author Cathy Kelly, for a coffee in Dublin. She is so lovely and so down to earth. She gave me some much appreciated writing tips and we had a really nice chat about everything and anything. Afterwards, we went browsing the shops together, looking for some good bargains. ;) I have some pretty concrete ideas written down, so now the hard work begins.... let's see where this takes me...

Until next time...:)