Firstly, well I started getting panic attacks in January.
Scariest day of my life when I had my first one. It is one of the most frightening situations to be in - you just feel totally out of control. My heart was racing, I was dizzy, I felt ill & felt like I was going to pass out. I had no idea what was wrong with me, I just could not explain the first few that I had. I didn't know what to think. I had a few while at college too and that was worse - my gut instinct was to run, to get away from the situation I was in, I felt that would help. But it didnt. Because of having a total fear then of being in a public place in case of another attack happening, i remained at home. I missed about a month of college over all. When I decided to finally go back, it took a while for me to have the courage to start going to lectures again - the thought of being in an enclosed space like a lecture hall completely terrified me. I did go to the doctor and he diagnosed me with anxiety and prescribed me tablets to help. And they did. But I do still suffer with panic attacks every so often. But I have learned to control them better and the whole element of running away from the situation is no longer necessary. Yes, they do still put the fear of God in me, but it's ok. I've adjusted myself to be more prepared when one happens. ;)
What else has been happening you might ask? Well I have had exams, 5 of the feckers.
And I am happy to say they are over!! As I've repeated many, many times, I really do not like my course. Studying Political Science & Sociology was never a subhject I wanted to keep on after 1st year, neither was English. Psychology was, and still is, the dream... This year has been the toughest, especially this semester - with all the time that I missed and the lack of interest in either subject, well I fell behind as you can imagine. I did get through the exams (just about) but did I do well? Thats up to the person correcting them, Results are out 30th June - that day can wait, believe me!! I will be in Dublin that day anyways at a concert :) Going to see the amazingly talented and beautiful singer - Leona Lewis!!
I've always been a fan of her music since she won The X Factor so I'm delighted to be going to her gig in The 02 on 29th June! :)
My final bit of news for now - I'm going to write a book. Yes...little ol' me....is going to pen a book. I've been thinking about this for quite a while but never really thought I'd have the patience to sit down and actually write but today, I actually started thinking about it, put down some ideas, thought about characters etc... I'll be a best-selling author yet...(I wish!)
